HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
