That's intense
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
