I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
whose ass print is on the piano?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
