Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
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