I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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