No, you can still breathe under the balls.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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