If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
