**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
