As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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