You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
