quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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