It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
