Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
