I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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