I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
