I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
