I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
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A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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