I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
