...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize