Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
