I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
