the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
