I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize