You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
