It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Randomize
