I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
