He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Randomize
