We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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