Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
