I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
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