Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
