Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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