Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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