I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
