He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize