I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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