She said her name was "party"
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize