When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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