I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
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