My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
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And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
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