I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
