Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize