How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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