So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
