i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
pray to the hookup gods
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
