They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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