You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
