You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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