Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
