Barsexuality is the new black.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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