Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
