Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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