uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
