Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
How does one acquire holy water?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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