i may or may not be watching the land before time
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
