Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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