he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
