Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
