they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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