I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
