I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
