i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Everything about him screamed your future.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
