so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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