I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
