wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
