I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Randomize
